Tag Archives: april 1

Well, that was fun

4/1/2008 – 10:29 pm

It wasn’t as much fun as I had hoped, though. To be honest, it’s hard to do that sort of thing. Obviously, it’s even harder to do it and be funny. (Insert “FAIL” graphic here.)
We were atheists, then Buddhists of various stripes, and then we ended at Scientology. Of all of [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Also tagged , , | Comments (0)

That Old Mother, Hubbard

4/1/2008 – 4:00 pm

Well, I don’t know what to say. I can’t get no affinity, reality, or communication, apparently. At least not with my credit rating. I can’t believe those jerks at the local Church of Scientology ran my credit report. I promised them that I’d already decided to stop giving to those other [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Comments (2)

Flying Purple People Thetan

4/1/2008 – 3:00 pm

So, I need to learn to communicate better. Everybody knows that I have trouble following conversations, making eye contact, and so forth. I resist the suggestion that I might be on the autism spectrum, so what is the alternative? Perhaps I can find a role model. Somebody who has struggled to [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Also tagged , | Comments (1)

Saturday night fever

4/1/2008 – 2:00 pm

Wherever I go, there I am.
I’ve been doing much soul searching these days. My inner self wanders across the mind’s desert wastelands in search of inner illumination. I seek the the Omniscient Om, the Unseen Um, the Absolute Ah, the Mystical Mm, and the Happenin’ Hm.
Om! Um! Ah! Mm! [...]

By Patrick Chan | Posted in General | Also tagged , | Comments (4)

Llama Llama Dalai Lama

4/1/2008 – 1:00 pm

We’re not really with Patrick on leaving Tibetan Buddhism behind; after all, we don’t have aspirations to actually be the Dalai Lama. But this is a guy, as the billboard on my way to work proclaims, that doesn’t just want peace; he works for it. I mean, he has threatened not to be [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Also tagged , | Comments (2)

The fifth noble truth

4/1/2008 – 12:00 pm

The fifth noble truth is that atheism sucks.
Yeah, we’re sorry but our atheist “friends” are really starting to tick us off now.
Ever since we’ve joined the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it’s been totally crazy! They keep spamming us with lame emails. What’s worse, they keep calling our cell and work phones [...]

By Patrick Chan | Posted in General | Comments (1)

Not everything it’s cracked up to be

4/1/2008 – 11:30 am

Having been an atheist now for most of the morning, I’m a little disillusioned. I mean, I’m all for tolerance, but the big tent is a little too big. I’m apparently expected to always maintain a solid stance against anything supernatural, but believe in things that are definitely not demonstrable or natural (like [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Also tagged | Comments (0)

Charitable Chan I am

4/1/2008 – 11:00 am

Okay, don’t think that just because we no longer believe in “God” that we’re likewise no longer altruistic or charitable.
On the contrary, we’re still good, moral people.
For instance, we’ve started to make donations not only to SETI but also to a discreet organization which supports the search for teapots orbiting around the sun, [...]

By Patrick Chan | Posted in General | Also tagged | Comments (2)

Brights and Indigos agree

4/1/2008 – 10:00 am

See, I’ve realized that I’m smarter than most people. Certainly smarter than most of you who actually read here every day hoping for religious material.
In fact, I’m a “Bright.” I’m not implying that those of you who have not freed yourself from the intellectual and pseudospiritual tyranny of a belief in the supernatural [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Also tagged , , , | Comments (0)

Superhero insurance

4/1/2008 – 9:00 am

There is a “slight” worry now that we no longer believe “God” exists. We don’t know who’s going to be “sovereign” (as Christians say) and in control of our lives anymore. Worse, there’s no guarantee that there’ll be justice in our lives in this world.
So here’s what I suggest we do. Before [...]

By Patrick Chan | Posted in General | Also tagged | Comments (0)

Reasons why God doesn’t exist

4/1/2008 – 8:30 am

As you have no doubt heard, we have decided that God just can’t exist. That’s right, we’re turning the tables. We’re tired of God being the judge and us always being in the dock, so now the other shoe is dropping from the other foot.

Our reasons for this decision are made of awesome. [...]

By Charles Sebold | Posted in General | Also tagged | Comments (0)

A very important announcement

4/1/2008 – 7:00 am

Dear Faithful Readers and Friends,
I’m really sorry for what I’m about to say. I’m sure we’ll lose a lot of readership as a result. I hope not, but if so, so be it. But it’s better that we are direct now and take whatever comes our way as a result than it [...]

By Patrick Chan | Posted in General | Also tagged | Comments (1)

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