See, I’ve realized that I’m smarter than most people. Certainly smarter than most of you who actually read here every day hoping for religious material.
In fact, I’m a “Bright.” I’m not implying that those of you who have not freed yourself from the intellectual and pseudospiritual tyranny of a belief in the supernatural and joined us intelligent and sophisticated people are in any way “dim.” But, well, you’re not Brights. We are.
Brights like me include Richard Dawkins (whose hatred of God is so powerful it might as well be religious), James Randi, and Penn Jillette and Teller. Clearly Brights like me are masters of sleight-of-hand in a number of ways. Now you see a foundation to our ethical system — now you don’t. You think it’s magic; we, like poor old Arthur C. Clarke who has gone to be with the worms and no longer exists except as rotting organic material, know that “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” See, I just blinded you with science. And philosophy.
Now, to be honest, I might not just be a Bright. I might be an Indigo. Brights say I can’t be both, but Indigos say that I can, and I tend to go with the most tolerant viewpoint possible these days, so maybe I’ll be an Indigo. I have a very high level of perception, you know. I can see right through you, for instance, sitting there at your computer, getting tired of what you think is just a really drawn-out and poorly executed joke. See? See? I knew what you were thinking! It’s like Superman in that Maureen McGovern song. I am just like that.
I’ve also realized that Bush and Cheney are the reason why Brights (or Indigos, or both) are being held back from pursuing the aggressive agenda we enlightened folk have, to bring society up to our plane of existence. But I’m torn as to whether to go to the Democratic National Convention to demonstrate on behalf of my candidate (I don’t know which one yet, but I don’t think Obama is really African-American enough to counteract my intense desire to see a woman like Hilary at the helm of our great country), or to go to the Republican National Convention and demonstrate against our continuing failure to implement Kyoto (I just saw The Day After Tomorrow, and wow, thanks Art Bell and Whitley Streiber, my mind was blown, we are in so much danger), or to go picket my local abortion clinic.
Because, you know, they don’t offer drive-through service. You see, Brights and Indigos never get aborted. Their parents are too enlightened. But the rest of you, I mean them… well, the less said, and the fewer born, the better. The non-Brights, non-Indigos are still getting out too much of the vote. Religious right nutcases.
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