Talking Out Of Turn

Dear Faithful Readers and Friends,

I’m really sorry for what I’m about to say. I’m sure we’ll lose a lot of readership as a result. I hope not, but if so, so be it. But it’s better that we are direct now and take whatever comes our way as a result than it is for us to let things linger over a longer period of time such that our readers gradually realize that we no longer believe what we used to believe.

Charlie asked me to make the initial announcement and we’ll try to follow up with a series of posts to better explain our thinking, and to better let you know how we’re feeling and all that. So please don’t think this is our last word on the topic, case closed, end of discussion, etc. We’ll follow up with more information as the day progresses.

Here’s the announcement: Charlie, Tracey, and I have come to the conclusion that we don’t believe Christianity is true, and what’s more, we don’t believe there’s a “God.”

But please don’t get us wrong, we’ve not become loner atheists, drifting about in the world, without a sense of direction or community, and so on. Rather we’ve become Pastafarians. We want to be actively involved. We want to make a difference. We’ve even started looking in our local areas for places where we can attend services at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Such as this one located in Springfield:

Also, because Charlie works in Missouri, which borders Kansas — which we know to be the banner state for allowing public schools to teach Creationism and Intelligent Design, he is beginning to look for employment in Illinois so that he doesn’t have to be in such close proximity to such a close-minded state. Charlie doesn’t want to be made unclean by their holier-than-thou-ness. I completely understand.

If I could though, I’d recommend the Sebolds move away from Illinois, too, if it ever becomes possible for them to do so as a family, and perhaps to someplace more open-minded like California. After all, let’s not forget Illinois borders Kentucky, which we know is home to that dreadful Creation Museum.

Personally, I’d be wary of living anywhere in the Bible Belt. You never know who’s going to invite you over to their house for dinner, some friendly conversation, and then BAM! You’ve been hit upside the head with a question like, “Is there anything we can do to help you with in your life?” Watch out, they’re just trying to suck you in.

Then again, to be honest, the best idea might be for all of us to seriously consider moving to Canada since it’s not like California is immune. In fact, California is home to big Christian churches like Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, Chuck Smith’s Calvary Chapel, John MacArthur’s Grace Church, and so on. There aren’t too many places in the US that are totally free from conservative Christian contamination.

Anyway, so that’s the long and the short of it. It’s been a difficult struggle for us to come to this decision. Our feelings are still very raw though, so we’d appreciate it if you tried to understand where we’re coming from and feel our pain and hurt before trying to tell us what you “really” think. We want your love and concern for us rather than your thoughts on our situation — unless they are kind and considerate thoughts. We’d immensely appreciate those sorts of thoughts. Kind thoughts are the best kind of thoughts.

And, of course, please pray for us. Well, I mean, please think kind thoughts about us during this time. Think well of us. Okay. You get the picture. Thanks.

On behalf of the authors of this weblog,

Patrick

P.S. As you’ll notice, our weblog and weblog design has been changed to reflect our change of beliefs.